Do you have the nagging feeling that you should be doing something…bigger?
Maybe you’ve always wanted to freelance — but, it’s so hard to leave the security and stability of your day job. (Yes, even if you hate it!)
Maybe you want to go after bigger, better clients — but, putting yourself out there and marketing yourself feels scary. So, you rely on Upwork for jobs. (Yes, even if the jobs are low-paying.)
Maybe you have a BIG income goal, like making six-figures or building a profitable community. But, when you start planning, a little voice inside your head says, “Why do you think you have anything new or different to say? Just shut up and stay safe.”
I get it. I do.
Every time I speak to a new coaching client (heck, even an SEO training client,) I hear a variation of, “I would love to accomplish X. But…”
And those “buts” feel SO BIG.
“But, I don’t have enough experience.”
“But, I don’t think I can get sign-off from my boss.”
“But, what if I lose all my clients because I charge too much?”
Yup. Been there.
I have big buts, and I cannot lie.
This issue popped up for me as I was planning my 2020 business goals. I started thinking of things I wanted to do and found myself making excuses.
“What if I spend lots of money and the idea flops?”
“Am I truly ready for this?”
“Ugh. This involves video. Not my first choice.” (This one is especially funny since I spent most of last year remodeling my office. For video.)
Typically, the biggest buts surface when I’m doing something that’s even slightly out of my comfort zone (like video.)
I may not notice that I’m making excuses. But, my body notices. I start feeling tense and anxious and a little bit scared.
Once upon a time, I’d feel that freaky feeling and figure it was a sign to stop.
Now, I realize my anxiety is actually my body’s way of saying, “Yup, this is a great idea. It’s a little out there and scary. Let’s go for it!”
As a well-known Arizona mountain climber once told me as he was talking me down a scary, sheer cliff, “I’m afraid of heights. That’s why I climb mountains. The fear focuses me.”
Your fear can focus you, too.
If you let it.
But sometimes, what you think you want is not what you want.
I used to think I wanted to build a big agency. You know, employees, fancy offices — the works. It sounded cool and sexy and hip. And the money — oh, the money!
I spent years thinking about that dream. Years. But, I never took real action. Today, I can look back and realize that building an agency wasn’t my dream. Even if all my friends were doing it.
So sometimes, the reason we’re not taking action isn’t because we’re scared or stuck in our comfort zones.
It’s because what we think we want, isn’t what we really want. So, we self-sabotage…but in a good way.
I know that I’ll never be Gary V. I know I’ll never be a female Tony Robbins. (If nothing else, I’m barely over 5 feet tall — and Tony is 6’7″.)
Why? Because it’s not aligned with what I want.
Admittedly, it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes between what we REALLY want, and what society (or our parents, or friends, or partner) wants for us.
For instance, well-meaning friends who say things like, “You could make so much money working for an agency. Are you sure you want to start a business?”
We overthink our options, get stuck, and burn out. We work on the “shoulds” instead of focusing on what would make us truly happy.
That’s when we start feeling stuck.
So, what can you do instead?
This is one of those times that it pays to talk to another human being. Someone who isn’t invested in your decision and can help you figure out your own solutions — rather than telling you what to do.
Maybe you have a friend or close colleague who can help. Or, a mentor. Or you’re part of a mastermind group.
Talk to these people. Use them (in a good way.) It will help. You’re not asking for unsolicited advice. You’re asking them to shut up and listen. And to gently push you out of your comfort zone, too.
This is also a time that business coaching can pay for itself many times over. Coaches are trained to notice what you’re saying, reflect it back, and ask lots of clarifying questions.
Those questions often lead to complete clarity. Which feels wonderful.
In fact, one of my coaching clients described our post-session experience as “a spa massage for her brain.” I love it!
You KNOW the answer to whatever is on your mind. You just need to download everything in your brain and to start figuring out what’s real — and what’s noise that’s messing with your progress.
Once you capture your focus, you’ll feel unstoppable.
And wow, won’t that feel amazing?
What do you think?
Do you have a gazillion ideas and worries and to-dos floating through your brain? Have you felt unstoppable before, and you miss that feeling? Yup, you’re not alone. Leave a comment and let me know!